Expectations, Disappointments, and Being Human

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how many little emotional landmines we casually step on every day. The kind no one else sees—because they’re invisible, silent, and worst of all… self-installed.

Of all the miseries we so generously gift ourselves, expectations should definitely be in the top three. Maybe even number one on a bad day.

I live in a country where people will genuinely give you the side-eye if you don’t hold the door open for the person behind you. We expect a stranger to HODOR (Hold the Door). And if they don’t?
“Rude.”
Like—how dare you let a heavy glass door swing back at me while I’m two steps behind you, right?

I mean, there is nothing wrong with holding the door. I do it 10 times a day. That's the culture, and you have to blend in. But, understand my point here- expectations.

You get what I’m saying. It’s everywhere.

I mean, seriously, half our emotional problems would disappear if we just became a little more... indifferent. I actually tried that once—went into full 'no-expectations, no-emotions, devil-may-care' mode for a few days.
And it felt amazing. Light. Peaceful.
Like I unlocked a secret cheat code to inner peace.

But then—because I’m painfully human—I slipped back.

One week, I went above and beyond at work. Took initiative, helped others, delivered early.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, I expected someone—anyone—to notice. Maybe a “great job!” or even just a nod of acknowledgement.

I got nothing.

Boom. There it was. That old friend: disappointment.

When It’s Not Just What We Want, But What’s Wanted From Us

It’s easy to think expectations only come from us—like we’re the ones holding the list of “shoulds” and “must-haves” in our heads.
But the truth? People expect things from us, too. And both sides of this—what we want from others, and what others want from us—can quietly pile up and weigh heavily on our mental health.

Take my own experience, for example. Whenever I decide to call my friends and relatives back home, it’s like I’ve pressed some sort of guilt button.

"You never call enough."
"We feel forgotten."

So I think, okay, I’ll call more. Make an effort. Stay connected.

But the more I call, the more they expect. Longer conversations. More frequent check-ins.
Suddenly, what started as a simple gesture turns into an emotional balancing act.

I get it, I really do. It’s rooted in love and concern.
But that kind of expectation can add a whole new layer of pressure—especially when you’re already juggling a million other things.

And that’s just one example. We all carry this weight—what we want from others, and what others want from us.
And honestly? Both sides of this emotional ledger can take a serious toll on our mental health.

Expectations Are Everywhere

It’s wild how expectations have managed to creep into every corner of our lives.
They're like background apps—always running, always draining energy.

You expect your partner to read between the lines.
Your friends to reply like they care, not just react.
Your parents to cheer for choices they don't fully understand.
Your boss to notice the late nights, the effort, the silent overachieving.
Your sibling to get your moods without needing a full TED Talk.

We carry around this invisible manual of how we want to be loved, supported, and seen—and then silently hand it out to people who’ve never even read the table of contents.

And when they don’t respond the way we hoped?
It stings.
But how could they meet expectations they never even knew existed?

But Can We Really Not Expect?

People love to say, “Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.”
Cute in theory. But in practice? It’s more like:

“Expect nothing and you’ll probably end up in therapy for suppressed emotions.”

Because expectations aren’t always toxic.
Sometimes, they’re just a reflection of our needs. Our hopes.
Our desire to be seen, heard, appreciated, and supported.

But when we don’t get what we hoped for? That mismatch between what we imagined and what actually happened—that’s the punch to the gut.

So What Now?

Honestly? I don’t have a “3 easy steps to inner peace” solution. I’m still figuring this out, too.

But maybe the goal isn’t to eliminate expectations altogether.
Maybe it’s about:

• Not assuming people owe us what we never communicated.

• Learning to receive what people can give, instead of obsessing over what they didn’t.

• Giving ourselves what we often expect from others.

Because truth is—we’ll keep expecting. We’ll keep getting disappointed.
But we can also learn, grow, and soften without becoming bitter.

So yeah, expectations suck.
But maybe it’s not about being a robot that expects nothing.
Maybe it’s about being a human who learns how to carry them more lightly.

What do you think?
Have you ever caught yourself expecting something you didn’t even realize you wanted… until the disappointment hit?
Let’s talk.