Reading Between The "Lols": The New Social Language

I’m a man of few words. And when I do open up, it usually comes out in sarcasm. Naturally, this doesn’t always land well. People often think I’m being rude—sometimes rightfully, sometimes not. I don’t even blame them at this point. I try my best, I really do. But somehow, my messages end up sounding way more intense in someone else’s head than they ever did in mine.

I’ve realized people don’t read texts—they perform them. Out loud. In their head. And the mood they’re in? That’s the tone they’ll assign to my message. So a dry “ok” from me turns into a dramatic courtroom scene for them.

That’s why I’ve started planting emojis like landmines of context. A 😂 here, a 😅 there—just enough to let people know, “Hey, this is sarcastic, not hostile.”

And then there’s my real MVP: “LOL.”
Yes, technically it means “laughing out loud,” but for me? It’s a shape-shifter(Or, as my grandmother would call it in Punjabi—shalayda). It’s my universal translator. I use it for everything: softening a joke, masking mild anger, pretending to care, or just making sure someone doesn’t think I’m plotting to kill them over a short reply.

So yeah, let’s talk about this strange new social language we’ve all become fluent in without realizing it—the one where punctuation, emojis, and “lols” do more emotional labour than actual words.

Birth of “LOL”

I actually can’t remember when I started using “lol.” One day I was just typing full sentences like a functioning human being, and the next, I was throwing “lol” into every message like it was salt—just a little sprinkle to make sure things didn’t taste too serious.

But how did it even start? Like, who was the first person to say, “Hey, let’s laugh... but in acronym form”? And more importantly—how did we all just agree, silently, that this one dumb little abbreviation would become the emotional backbone of all our online communication?

At first, “LOL” meant what it was supposed to: laughing out loud. That was it. Simple times. If someone sent a meme, you replied “lol.” It was pure. Innocent. Honest.

Fast forward a few years, and now “lol” is doing everything except actual laughing. It’s been stretched, given a different meaning, emotionally manipulated. It’s a mood softener, a sarcasm signal, a conversation defuser, a flirt, a nervous twitch. It’s basically the Swiss Army knife of digital expression.

It went from “haha this is funny” to “I’m too emotionally damaged to show vulnerability, so here’s a ‘lol’ instead of telling you I’m low-key crying in my car.”

And the wildest part is that we all understand this. We never had a group meeting. There was no memo. It just... evolved.

The Many Faces of “LOL”

• Safety LOL
  “Wow, nice of you to reply lol”
  → I’m annoyed, but I’m trying to sound chill so you don’t hate me.

• Buffer LOL
  “You could’ve just read the instructions lol”
  → I’m being passive-aggressive, but in a playful way (allegedly).

• Panic LOL
  “Anyway, I’ll stop bothering you lol”
  → I feel like I said too much and now I’m confused. Please fix this.

• Cold LOL
  “ok lol”
  → I’ve emotionally checked out. This is the digital version of a shrug.

• Actual LOL
  "BRO I just saw a guy trip over his own dog while trying to take a selfie lololol"
  → This is real laughter. No sarcasm, no overthinking—just pure joy. Rare and beautiful.

Emotional Masking- I am Okay, LOL

Sometimes “lol” has nothing to do with laughing. It’s more like a little safety net we throw into our messages so we don’t sound too harsh, too serious, or like we actually have emotions (gross, right?). We use it to calm things down, avoid fights, or make a heavy message feel lighter than it really is.

Like, instead of saying:
“That really hurt my feelings,”
we go with:
“Haha nah it’s cool lol.”
(Translation: It’s not cool. I’m dying inside. Please read between the ‘lols.’)

There’s this unspoken pressure to keep things light—even when you’re crumbling. We don’t want to come across as too serious, too direct, or too emotionally intense. So we slap on a “lol” at the end of the sentence like a band-aid over a bullet wound and hope it makes us sound breezy instead of broken.

Sometimes I’ll reread my own texts and realize I’ve added a “lol” after a fully normal sentence just to avoid sounding “cold.” Like:
“Sure, I’ll be there lol.”
Why “lol”? What part of that sentence was funny? Absolutely none. But without it, I sound like I’m about to file for a restraining order.

We’re all just out here emotionally censoring ourselves with “lol”s, terrified of being misread, misunderstood, or God forbid—labelled as dry.

Final Thoughts: LOL, But Seriously

These days, texting doesn’t even feel like talking—it’s more like sending little signals and hoping the other person gets what you really mean. We're all just out here trying to sound chill, not offend anyone, and somehow still express our entire personality—using a handful of letters, some emojis, and a carefully placed “lol.”

It’s wild how much weight these tiny things carry. A period can end friendships. A “haha” can change the mood. And one “lol” can mean the difference between “we’re good” and “they secretly hate me.”

But to be honest, we’re all just trying to survive the group chats, reply to DMs without sounding dead inside, and send memes as a love language. If throwing in an extra “lol” keeps the peace, softens our sarcasm, or makes someone feel a little less judged, then so be it.

Just remember: if you ever get a dry “ok lol” from me… I probably mean it. But like, in a loving way. LOL 😂