The Lies I Tell Myself Every Day: A Daily Ritual

Mornings and I have an understanding: I hate them, and they return the favour.

Every morning I wake up with the confidence of a motivational speaker and the energy of a potato. By noon, most of my plans are replaced by snacks and regrets. My alarm goes off aggressively, and sometimes the alarm tone becomes a part of my dreams.

In those first five minutes, I tell myself all the classic lies-

“This is the day I wake up early and hit the gym.”

“I’ll eat something with protein and not just...three sad spoonfuls of peanut butter.”

“I’ll be productive, and focused, and I definitely won't waste hours scrolling through nonsense.”

Lies. All of it. Bold-faced, caffeine-deprived lies.

For the last 2 months, every morning started with a purpose. I would wake up, blurry-eyed but determined, because my favourite Cricket league was on. Watching the game felt like a sacred ritual — my version of meditation, but with more yelling at the screen and less inner peace.

And the best part? My team actually won. Champions. Legends. Gave me main character energy for weeks.

But now? The league is over. The trophy is lifted. The hype’s gone.

And I’m just sitting here at 7 AM like... sooo, are we back to starting our day with memes and mild panic again? Cool, cool, cool.

At this point, lying to myself has become part of my self-care routine. So, in the spirit of brutal honesty, here are some of my favourite daily delusions - the little motivational quotes I feed my brain that age like milk by midday.

Lie # 1: "Five minutes more won't hurt"

Every morning, without fail, I lie to myself with the same sweet, deceitful whisper: “Five more minutes won’t hurt.”

It’s always five minutes. Not ten, not twenty. Just five. A cute, harmless little nap extension. Normally, I am not a procrastinator, but this innocent little phrase is our universal gateway drug to procrastinate. We say it when we should get out of bed, start work, or just, you know, adulting, but nope.

On a day off (which I rarely have ), sometimes, five minutes stretch into five episodes, five snacks, or five existential crises. And, suddenly, it's dinner time, and you are wondering where the day went.

The irony is those five extra minutes never actually help. I don’t wake up refreshed. I wake up confused, angry at the sun, and full of regret. But do I learn my lesson?

Of course not.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll do it all over again. Because future me? He’s got it together. He’ll definitely wake up on time...

Just after five more minutes.

Lie #2: "I'm going to eat healthy today"

Last week, I ran into an old friend and the first thing she said was, “Hey, you’ve put on weight, your face looks bigger!” Then she tried to patch it up with, “But you still look good!” — thanks, that really helped. It was a reality check, so I lied to myself and said," That’s it, I’m eating healthy from now on. And I meant it... until snacks happened. Now I’m somewhere between a quinoa phase and secretly flirting with fries. Balance, right?

Every morning I tell myself, “That’s it, clean eating from now on.” And for a few hours, I’m basically a wellness guru — drinking water, thinking about salad, feeling smug. Then 3 p.m. hits, and suddenly I go out of my office and get a shawarma plate with all the sauces.

Lie #3: "I’m going to stay off social media for a while"

Every now and then, I get this burst of fake discipline and go, “That’s it. I need a break — no social media for a while.” I feel all proud like I’ve just made a big life decision. Then an hour later, I’m on Instagram “just checking one thing,” and somehow I’m watching a guy organize his spice bottles in alphabetical order. Next thing I know, I’ve scrolled through 30 memes, carefully curated and shared with my regular circle of friends — you know, depending on their humour style and emotional stability. Like, this one’s safe for everyone... this one? Only for the unhinged group chat. Detox? Yeah, sure. Right after I finish sending just one more reel.

And the funny part is, I still convince myself I’m “barely online.” Like somehow, sending memes with personalized captions doesn’t count. At this point, my screen time could qualify as a part-time job — but , at least I’m spreading laughter... one distraction at a time.

Lie #4: "I’ll only buy what I really need"

Every time I go shopping, I tell myself I’m just grabbing the essentials. But then somehow, I end up with a bunch of stuff I didn’t even know I wanted — like that weird oil diffuser I saw once and thought, “Yeah, I definitely need this. to attain enlightenment” Or snacks that were totally not on the list but looked way too good to pass up. By the time I’m done, my cart’s half “need” and half “oops, how did this get here?”

But,I always convince myself I am being super responsible — like, “It’s okay, I’ll actually use this someday.”.But that oil diffuse is probably still in the box, and those snacks? Well, they disappeared way faster than I expected. And even when I do stick to the plan and just go out for what I need, those Amazon ads and free gifts from Temu hit me hard. Suddenly, I’m like, “Well, I didn’t plan on buying this, but a free gift? Can’t say no!” Next thing I know, I’ve wasted way more money than intended — all because of a “limited-time offer.” Shopping responsibly? Yeah, that’s a nice story I tell myself.

Lie #5: "I’ll go to bed early tonight"

I work most days in a week, so nights are really the only time I have for myself. I know I should catch up on sleep, but instead, I always squeeze in one more episode or scroll a little longer just for fun.

When I wake up in the morning with a headache or sore eyes, I tell myself the classic lie again — “I’ll sleep early tonight.” Yeah, right. But the cycle just keeps going.

It’s like my brain switches into “me time” mode, and all logic flies out the window. Sleep feels like a chore I can’t afford to do yet, even though I know it’s what I actually need. So yeah, I’m caught in this never-ending loop of late nights and tired mornings — but, at least I’m enjoying those stolen moments, right?

Honestly, some days I wonder if this is the secret adult version of rebellion — trading sleep for a few extra minutes of freedom, even if it means running on empty the next day. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out… but probably not anytime soon.

Lie Wrap Up:

So yeah, these lies I tell myself every morning, they’re a messy mix of hope, denial, and a dash of self-sabotage. But honestly, who doesn’t have their own version of this? Life’s too short to be perfect, and sometimes a little white lie is exactly what gets us through the day. Maybe tomorrow I’ll start fresh… or maybe I’ll just tell myself five more minutes one more time. Either way, I’m learning to laugh at the chaos and cut myself some slack along the way. After all, isn’t that what really matters?