The "What's your Valentine's Day Plan" Pressure: Why Everyone Feels Like They Have to Have One

Alright, it's that time of the year. Let's talk about Valentine's Day. Every year, we get hit with the same question: "What's your plan for Valentine's Day?"And, honestly, why does this day come with so much pressure? Like, why do we feel like we have to have a plan? It's like everyone's expecting us to create a Netflix-worthy romance out of thin air. If you're already cringing at the thought of having to make some huge, grand gesture or come up with a perfect date idea, you're not alone. At this point, I am just trying to survive February 14th without accidentally setting off the fire alarm while making dinner, instead of forgetting to pick up the flowers. Seriously, everyone is acting like this is the Super Bowl of romance.

But here's the kicker: The world acts like you've failed at life if your Valentine's Day doesn't involve candlelit dinners, a surprise trip, or at least a heart-shaped pizza. I am sure you have been there too- trying to live up to the rom-com standards but somehow ending up eating takeout in sweatpants. Like who decided you are not a true romantic unless you've spent the last month preparing for a day that's, let's be honest, just a regular Tuesday with more chocolate? We all feel like we've got to pull off some sort of love-based heist -God forbid you forget to post the "perfect" photo that'll have your followers swooning. Let's get real about why we feel this unnecessary pressure and unpack why we're all sweating bullets over this one. But trust me, it's not actually about love...it's about expectations.

The Pressure of the 'Perfect Day'

First off, Valentine's Day has been marketed as the "ultimate romantic day", with all the hearts, chocolates, and roses that basically scream, "If you don't have a plan, are you even in love?" Seriously, who decided that you can't just chill on February 14 and still be considered a good partner, if you don't have a partner, you are already a failed person. The media, social feeds, and even your friends are all pushing this idea that you need to have something grand planned out. If you are single. It's like there's this unspoken pressure to have a date or be doing something, anything, to avoid feeling like you are missing out. And, if you are in a relationship? It's almost like you need to outdo last year, which can make it feel like a high-stakes event.

On top of it, the pressure to create the 'perfect day' is further doubled by comparisons to others. You feel compelled to measure your celebrations against those arranged by friends, influencers, and celebrities. It leads to a feeling of inadequacy if the plans do not appear as grand or memorable. A simple dinner at home may start to feel insufficient when compared with lavish vacations or surprise proposals. As a result, Valentine's Day can change from an opportunity to celebrate unique connections to a competitive ground where stress and anxiety overshadow enjoyment. But honestly, this doesn't make sense. At its core, Valentine's Day should just be about love. Not stress. No expectations.Just love.

Social Media Messing With Our Minds

And then, of course, there's social media -the ultimate hype machine. Social media during Valentine's Day is like a red carpet-event for love. The second February hits, your feed turns into a highlight reel of over-the-top proposals, flower arrangements of the size of small trees, and couples acting like they just walked out of a romantic K-drama. , and if you are not doing anything equally epic, you might start to feel left out. You know what I am talking about: The heart-shaped everything, the cute couple pics, and all the stuff that looks perfect. Suddenly your low-key dinner plan starts to feel like a disappointment because Anushka from college just got a five-star rooftop dinner with a surprise diamond ring and Ryan from work took his girlfriend on a spontaneous trip to Paris. Like excuse me, I thought picking out the expensive chocolates from "Purdy's" instead of "Dollarama" was romantic enough.

The worst part? We know social media is a curated illusion, yet we still compare. Sure, someone may have had a super cute date, but that doesn't mean they didn't have an argument before dinner. No one's posting the awkward silences, the overpriced menus, or the fact that someone definitely forgot to make a reservation But all we see is perfection, and before you know it, we are overthinking, wondering if our plans are special enough -as if love comes with a ranking system.

The Fear of Missing Out (Again)

And then there is the ultimate villain: FOMO. Whether you are single, in a relationship, in a situationship or in the "it's complicated zone", there's always that nagging sense of "I'm missing out" around Valentine's Day, Singles feel like the universe is screaming "Do something, anything, to prove you are not sad and alone!" they need to be out there doing something, anything, to avoid the "alone on Valentine's Day" label. If you are in a relationship, the FOMO shapeshifts into performance pressure. You feel the need to create the perfect romantic moment that everyone else will be jealous of. Everyone else seems to be outdoing each other with big surprises, and your partner is wondering, "So, we are really just doing sushi and a movie, huh?

Let me add another angle and dedicate this paragraph to the singles out there. To avoid FOMO and to show a perfect Valentine's Day, singles can make a rushed decision that may not align with their true feelings or values. For example, singles may feel compelled to go above and beyond to avoid the loneliness of Valentine's Day and end up wasting time and money on casual dates or shallow arrangements. That can lead to a relationship that lacks depth and genuine connection.

The irony is no one wants to admit they feel this way, but we all do. But here is the thing: You don't need to make a big deal out of it, Valentine's Day doesn't have to be a show for anyone. It can just be a chill, low-key day that's meaningful to you- whatever that looks like.

So, Here's The Real Talk

Valentine's Day can be whatever you want it to be,or nothing at all. Seriously, there is no rule that you have to spend a ridiculous amount of money, pull off a romantic proposal, or even acknowledge the day if you don't feel like it. Love isn't a one-day performance and it definitely isn't measured by the size of a bouquet or how many heart-shaped things you buy.

If you are single, you don't have to prove to anyone(or yourself) that you are thriving on February 14th. You are not missing out just because you're not at a candlelit dinner or getting a mystery gift wrapped in red ribbon. The best "plan" is doing whatever makes you happy- whether that's hanging out with friends, treating yourself to something nice, or ignoring the day completely. If your idea of the perfect day is staying in, ordering pizza, and binge-watching your favourite show with your bestie, that's a plan. Take yourself out for a treat or spend them doing something that makes you happy. Maybe it's a phone call with a friend or a solo hike it doesn't need to be anything fancy. If you have a strong urge to express and say "I love you" to someone, try calling your parents.

If you're in a relationship, there is no prize for having the most impressive Valentine's Day. The love you show on a random Tuesday in March matters way more than what you post on February 14th. So, if your ideal celebration is a Sushi night in sweatpants, go for it. If you do want to go all out, great! Just make sure you are doing it because you want to, not because social media or society made you feel like you have to.

Ultimately, whether you are single, in a relationship, or navigating complicated romantic situations, it is important to ground ourselves in the reality that personal happiness has many aspects. By embracing who we are and developing self-acceptance, we can redefine what love and celebration mean to us, without copying commercialized ideals. So, this Valentine's Day, let us all evaluate our feelings, prioritize our unique journeys and celebrate love in all its forms. As I mentioned before, the pressure around Valentine's Day isn't really about love- it's about expectations. And the best way to win? Stop playing by everyone else's rules.

Final Thoughts: Can We All Relax Now?

At the end of the day, Valentine's Day isn't a relationship report card, and no one's going to bust through your door with a clipboard to evaluate your level of romance. Whether you go big, keep it simple, or completely ignore the day (power move, honestly. I have a Korean lesson on 14th Feb), it doesn't define your love life. So, can we all agree to stop treating it like a national exam we forgot to study for?

Next time someone asks me, "What's your Valentine's Day Plan?" I am going to say "Classified" and smile mysteriously. Let them imagine you have a top-secret evening lined up -maybe a candlelight dinner on a private yacht, or a spontaneous getaway ending in fireworks. Meanwhile, you'll be enjoying your night exactly how you want unnecessary pressure, no forced expectations, and definitely no overpriced heart-shaped nonsense.